It's possible. The UK tabloids have gone into inky orgasm over a number of things which may or may not be true. Like Kate changing her door locks, hiring a minder and getting DHL to collect all of Pete's sweat soaked scarves and take them back to his pad in Hackney.
If it's true, it's sad but not really a bad thing for Pete to ditch the eternal groupie. Especially with his new book doing the rounds. But we're sure that's got nothing to do with it. Or the fact that the company doing PR for the book are desperately seeking coverage, despite Pete doing fuck all in the way of promotions - apart from turning up at an obscure book-seller in fancy dress...
To mark the occasion, here's a live review, some pictures we took before Pete put the drum-kit on our head and an amusing clip of Pete before Kate got hold of him...
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Monday, 2 July 2007
Concert for Diana: The best and worst bits
Yesterday, approximately 70,000 people braved the possibility of a terrorist attack to visit Wembley stadium to see a Diana benefit concert. The audience consisted of aged coffee morning Conservatives with bosoms the size of nuclear weapons, gay men expecting Kylie to perform and young competition winners placed near the front of the stage to show that the youths still have love for the Royal Family. The highlights were few, but we watched the WHOLE thing, so you didn’t have to.
Stuff that made us laugh, cry and sometimes, slightly aroused…
Fergie miming and the camera panning away from her greasy chicken legs to make up for the MTM (mouth to mic) malfunction.
P Diddy, doing a Jacko by dressing in white, praising the Lord and invoking the spirit of Diana to the sound of hip hop while pretending he was a preacher and/or Jesus. He sang his Sting infused ode to Notorious BIG – who Princess Diana shared a great deal in common with.
Kanye West, showing P Diddy how it should be done. Prince Harry was over-heard saying that he “rocked the house” before asking his aide if it was time for a spliff.
Nelly Furtado – fuck Christina and Britney, we’ll take Nelly any day.
Joss Stone, coming over all American again but looking quite nice with no shoes on.
Prince Harry and William doing the Royal Jive, which is half Peter Crouch, half David Brent…
David Brent (Ricky Gervais) running out of jokes after two minutes, after cutting his traditional gags about disabled people, cancer and sex. The previously sedate crowd excitedly chanted “dance! dance!” after too many Pimms, forcing the rubber-faced chubster to dance like he did in that episode of The Office. Curiously, he knew the exact routine…
Kate Middleton, nicer than Chelsea, who is to Harry what a Chihuahua is to Paris Hilton.
Tom Jones covering Arctic Monkeys, then a Joss duet with Joss singing louder than Tom.
The giant gaps between songs, with helicopter cameras exposing Wembley as a kind of Total Recall esque industrial wasteland with a hotel, a Land of Leather and a giant sand pit.
1.
Friday, 29 June 2007
Rolling Stones slide at Isle of Wight festival
We just found this. We may have been drunk when it was recorded, dancing like a loon, spilling cider and shouting....hence the wobble-cam broadcast.
Ladies and gentlemen! The Stones and the magical moving B-Stage at the Isle of Wight Festival 2007! Because Stannah Stairlifts only go up, not across...
Rolling Stones 'slide' at IOW
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Ladies and gentlemen! The Stones and the magical moving B-Stage at the Isle of Wight Festival 2007! Because Stannah Stairlifts only go up, not across...
Rolling Stones 'slide' at IOW
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5 things we hate about festivals
Okay, so Glasto's over and the Isle of Wight is done for this year but have you seen how many more festivals there are still to come? We have and we're having a stab at doing a fair few but we've already been reminded of things we hate to see, hear or watch at a festival. No, Mel C and Keane are the obvious ones...
3. MOBILE PHONE USAGE
1. TWATS IN HATS
JK might have started this trend but it can be traced back to The Levellers and indeed clowns. This should be a warning - all three of these groups are cunts. Every year at every festival, IT consultants and drunken rugby-fucks go and buy a jester hat to prove their wackiness outside of their mundane workplace. These people are also the first to put on the paper crowns from crackers at Christmas and the last to leave your house party. They know of no fashions and think that by wearing novel head gear, they’ll stand a better chance of getting into the NME or The Guardian. Sadly, this only works for fit girls. Wear a silly hat and you’ll get exposed, slated and laughed at on the internet - especially if that 'hat' is featured on your MySpace page.
2. BIG BUMS
No, this isn’t a jibe at fat people but – BUT – it’s never nice seeing exposed, sunburned, unwashed ass when you’re eating a hot dog. I mean, there’s hygiene issues here, not to mention the occasional presence of hair or the stray slither of festival issue bog roll. Festivals are meant to be sun drenched free love paradises – not full of females who behave like Bob The Builder, look like Michelle McManus and believe that their 28 inch waist has remained static since leaving high school.
3. MOBILE PHONE USAGE
A couple of camera snaps is fine because, like, we do that all the time. Ahem. We’re talking about recording songs and, worse still, calling a friend and shouting down the line before proudly raising the phone in the air like a sonic broad sword. Worse still, the man pictured is pumping The Feeling to someone as intelligent as him at the other end of the line. We imagine it’s his mum, the one waiting for him back at the tent.
4. QUEUES
Unavoidable of course, especially for the never-ending pits of poo that makes a standard chemical toilet seem like the ultimate bottom-related luxury. Worse still are the things that happen in queues. People talk about Keane, discuss their bowel movements, the plan of action for the day, who they shagged last night and talk loudly on mobile phones while gesturing to an invisible man, still partially high from their first joint of the day.
Burger for breakfast, burger for lunch and burger for tea. By the end of the festival, it’s likely that your anus will be vomiting out meaty Frisbees like a fleshy yet rubber monster from a David Cronenberg flick. The only respite is Falafel or sweets, both of which have much the same effect on your bottom. Caffeine and beer doesn’t help either. The solution? Cider, water, crisps and chocolate bars.
Friday, 15 June 2007
Kate Nash interview
She’s on a UK tour, she’s done Jools Holland (the show, not the man) and is going to do Glastonbury. She’ll also slap you if you mention the words Lily and Allen but quite likes Patti Smith. And Peter Andre.
Hello Kate. How’s the tour going?
Really well. Liverpool was really good, we’ve had great crowds.
No disasters?
No, well, sort of. Hangover Disasters. A couple but nothing too bad.
You’re playing Glasto – are you nervous?
Really excited but so nervous. It is nerve wracking – you’ve just got to try and get past the nerves and perform well.
Any collaborations planned?
If it happens, I’m up for it.
Who do you want? Any requests?
Patti Smith, please!
Are you camping?
Yes! I want to camp and hang out with everyone.
So if Kate Moss said you could stay in her nearby mansion and share the helicopter ride each day, would you do it?
Oh God, no, I don’t think so…
Are you disappointed that you haven’t had any Tweedy Vs Lily style showbiz spats yet?
No, I can’t be bothered. I just get worked up and it’s a waste of time – I have opinions on people but I don’t want to attract gossip, it would ruin my life! I’ll just have spats in restaurants when the food isn’t right and say “what the fuck!” - that’ll keep me going.
How’s the first album going?
It’s going well, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done – trying to understand sounds and working with producers is weird. You just think about so many different angles, but you still want the integrity and everything to be right.
You’re from Harrow, North London. You’re the most famous thing to come from there since Sabrina – out of Misteeq, true or false?
That’s amazing! Is she from Harrrow? That’s so cool! It’s false, though - did you know Peter Andre lived in Harrow!
No. How do you know?
Er, I think I liked him when I was, like, eleven!
Harrow doesn’t have a vibrant music scene, just a Primark and a rubbish nightclub called Time. And a goth student pub called Trinity. We went there once.
I played my first gig in Trinity! It’s changed! There’s a lot of good bands playing there now. I think it’s really good, there’s more interesting music around now. I think it’s important for your local area to have a decent music scene.
You’ve just done a gig in Exeter – so, in celebration of the city, rate these Exeter bands out of 10, please….
Muse!
Live, God, I’d say 10!
Coldplay!
I dunno, Parachutes was such a good album but then I went off them. I’ll give them 5.
Reef!
Who?
They had a song called Place Your Hands? The singer looked like a baboon and grunted a lot – it has a bit which goes ooohh, ahhuhhh, ahu, aha, ooooooh?
Nope, never head of them – I’m sorry! Actually, can I give Coldplay an extra point because I’m now thinking about how good Parachutes is...
Tuesday, 12 June 2007
Isle of Wight Festival : The filth and the fury
We've recovered from the Isle of Wight Festival, just....
Brilliantly, we've just found an amusing Mel C video clip on our shit encrusted mobile phone - Mel C watched by just one fan in the empty backstage area that would later fill up with all manner of Peaches Geldof types, Noel Fielding and an agitated Tim Wheeler from Ash wearing a coat bigger than the cloak worn by the eighties Bunnyman in attendance. Tim later told everyone that this was the last Ash album, just as his label try and launch a fanzine and push a new single. Bet that went down a treat at Time Warner...
Mel, if this is your mum, we're really sorry. We'd hate it if our mum did this kind of shit.
Mel C has 1 fan at Isle of Wight Festival 07
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Other highlights included Noel Fielding chatting to a seventeen year old couple about 'how bloody great' the festival Red Arrows display was - perhaps the pear cider made him feel a bit dizzy? We also enjoyed seeing Tom from Snow Patrol (pic below) getting sloshed the day after his big gig and letting a drugged up waif fall over his sweat soaked tee shirt inbetween her constant visits to the toilet cubicles. But then, he's so ugly that he manages to make the rest of the band look vaguely fuckable, so we'll excuse the toilet trips.
Brilliantly, we've just found an amusing Mel C video clip on our shit encrusted mobile phone - Mel C watched by just one fan in the empty backstage area that would later fill up with all manner of Peaches Geldof types, Noel Fielding and an agitated Tim Wheeler from Ash wearing a coat bigger than the cloak worn by the eighties Bunnyman in attendance. Tim later told everyone that this was the last Ash album, just as his label try and launch a fanzine and push a new single. Bet that went down a treat at Time Warner...
Mel, if this is your mum, we're really sorry. We'd hate it if our mum did this kind of shit.
Mel C has 1 fan at Isle of Wight Festival 07
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Other highlights included Noel Fielding chatting to a seventeen year old couple about 'how bloody great' the festival Red Arrows display was - perhaps the pear cider made him feel a bit dizzy? We also enjoyed seeing Tom from Snow Patrol (pic below) getting sloshed the day after his big gig and letting a drugged up waif fall over his sweat soaked tee shirt inbetween her constant visits to the toilet cubicles. But then, he's so ugly that he manages to make the rest of the band look vaguely fuckable, so we'll excuse the toilet trips.
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
Kate Nash: 'brilliant'
Okay, so it's not often we do this kind of blatant plugging but hey, we were asked and - for once - we agree with the person asking. Kate Nash is 'brilliant', says us. How about that for a quote? Surely that's up there with Heat and The News of The World for snappy editorial soundbitage? If we don't see that on at least one promo poster in at least two Camden toilets, we'll be very disappointed.
Did you see Kate on Later With Jools? Or at the Camden Crawl? If not, you missed out.
Anyway, in advance of the exclusive interview later this month, here's a new mix of Foundations and some tour dates.
Foundations (Metronomy Remix)
| Upcoming Shows | ( view all ) |
| Fibbers +15 | York | ||
| Cabaret Voltaire 18+ | Edinburgh | ||
| Tunnels 14+ | Aberdeen | ||
| Reading Rooms 16+ | Dundee | ||
| King Tuts 18+ | Glasgow | ||
| Cluny | Newcastle | ||
| The Cavern | Exeter | ||
| Clwb Ifor Bach 14+ | Cardiff | ||
| Glee 18+ | Birmingham | ||
| Glastonbury Festival | Glastonbury | ||
| Leadmill 14+ | Sheffield | ||
| Leeds Festival | Leeds | ||
| Reading Festival | Reading | ||
| Bloomsbury Ballroom - on sale now | London | ||
| Isle of Wight Bestival | Isle of Wight |
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