There's no dignified way of explaining what happened this week when Microsoft held a big press conference in LA to show off new Xbox 360 games, so we'll just get straight in to it...The suited monstrosity you see above is the chief marketing penis for Microsoft, Peter Moore. He announced a new game called Rock Band which ensures that the fat, slobbering and terminally anoraky Xbox massive can actually be 'in a band' without leaving their own faces encrusted habitat. Plug in plastic guitars, a mic and you'll never have to worry about wobbling on to the X Factor stage and listing your hobby as Xbox before doing a passable impression of a singing can of corned beef.
Brilliantly, to promote the game, Peter - in a particularly David Brent moment - decided to play the game, Fisher Price style, with a plastic guitar and a few assorted goblins - the team that actually made the game. There's a couple of virgins who look like they've spent a good few months wanking over a good few Dawson's Creek box sets and then there's the female lead singer. Less Karen O, more Beth Ditto fused with kids TV panto-villain Grotbags, she destroys The Hives' Main Offender with Peter on backing vocals. The girl shimmies like a glam sausage while Peter rocks back and forth like some kind of paper ghoul. The girl is called Helen. She has a MySpace page and a collection of rock photos to make even Johnny Borrell jealous.
Embarrassingly, the song (and game) pauses midway through as Peter (clearly an expert at this type of thing) manages to keep hitting the pause button, screaming "bring me back in, bring me back in!"
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